I felt like writing something.

So,..  I've been watching this show called Deathnote, and it is the trippiest stuff ever. I mean that in a literal term. It makes you think, and think, and feel! The voices are so nice, and the story line is so interesting, it feels good watching it. I sometimes feel as though whoever created this show, had a great degree in philosophy. The story line felt well to me, because it entered a lot of my thoughts.

What I didn't like about Light in the show, who is trying to be a God figure using an book, coming from another realm, a Shinigami, a kind of being who thrives off your life(hard to explain wow)...But what I didn't like about Light was the fact that he assumed he knew how to handle "giving justice", and then he starts killing innocent, hot people, and it's all just horrible. He doesnt even date girls even though they want to. He scares me...

 I mean, I liked him instantly, because he was articulate and definitely intelligent.

BUT everytime I think about it I get an eerie feeling...

 I don't even know how to explain,

Anyway, if I tried it'd be in vain,

Simplicity this time, my heart tells me,

Never so sudden, has this compelled me.

I need to hold you close.

I need to shed your clothes.

I need to feed your vanity.

Oh yes, I plead insanity.

So easy to feed my hunger.

Baby, you make me wonder..

Are you going to be good for me?

My heart just says..We'll see.

trying to find something in a dangerous swamp of my past.
Oh god. What gutwrenching feelings I experienced when I opened up my ex’s old love letters… I can’t even describe. Reading how much he wanted me, he loved me, he felt “soggy” over me… How much we both did for each other, how many sacrifices we made. I can’t even feel my fingers type this. I cant see what I’m typing.

I was 16. He, was not. He was the best thing that happened to me. A guy who thought the world of me, who thought I was the most beautiful sexy girl in the world. He himself was pretty damn hot. We were so good.

Then, we ended. We ended well. We’re friendly. We have fond memories. I wonder how many of those have gone, squished in some part of our brains we don’t think about.

All I know is, those feelings were unfairly exquisite. I live to feel, I live to be. I want it back.

I’m glad we happened, and I’m glad we’re not together. But how can I be left here all alone now? When just 2 years ago I was love-swept and determined to show everyone that he was my man, my man forever?

Now I don’t have anyone. Seems to be I’m in eternal heartbreak. I guess I have to keep reminding myself why I need to quench these feelings in my heart: I had it before. It’s intoxicating. Addicting. Beautiful and mesmerizing.

I think I might need it. I think you’d need to have it once to realize how human it is to need me.

 If you've never been in love, it might be hard to understand why I'm such a good lover. Heck, even I don't understand it. All I can say is, as long as I can fend for myself, I will fend for you. And I'm pretty hot, actually.